The List

I was feeling a bit overwhelmed yesterday.  I realized I only have 10 weeks (or less) until Evan arrives and that made me panic.  Some days if feels like I just took the pregnancy test last month, or we just found out we're having a boy, last week.  Some days, I think "There is no way I've be pregnant for 30 week!"  But sure enough I have been pregnant for 30 weeks.  I guess this whole things still seems surreal to me.  I feel Evan moving all the time, I've seen him on the ultrasound, but yet I still can't wrap my head around the fact that in 10 weeks (or less) I'm finally going to be a mother.  This has been something we've been waiting for for 6 years.  6 years of heartache, disappointment, tears, jealousy (yes, I'll admit it), anger, and just unhappiness.  And now everything we have wanted for 6 years is only 10 weeks away.  Amazing!

So in addition to feeling emotionally overwhelmed, I was feeling overwhelmed by the amount of things that need to be done.  I did what I always do, I talk it out and then yell at Scott for offering suggestion.  I don't want suggestions, I just want to talk it out...it's how I think.  So after apologizing for snapping at my wonderfully, patient husband, I made a list.  Once I got it all down on paper, it wasn't nearly as overwhelming, until I looked at some of the things on the list.  I realized this is a primary list.  Several things on this list, will have lists of their own shortly.  "Hospital Bag" is on the primary list, but it will have a secondary list, listing all the things that need to go in the hospital bag.  Again, it is how I work.  I work best with lists and it makes me feel good to cross things off. 

Everything is still doable and I always throw some no brainer, duh type items on there just to cross off to make myself feel better.  At least, I'm not as overwhelmed as I was yesterday...at least for today :-)