Dear Family & Friends,
It is with extremely saddened hearts that we share that it appears our adoption has fallen through. We have known all along that this was always a possibility, but that in no way helped us to prepare for the moment that we were told Caleb would not be coming home with us. We continue to pray for the birthmother and her family as this is a difficult time for them as well. We will need time to heal and grieve, but we know that we will get through this. The adoption process has given us some thick skin, but we are still heartbroken. We thank you all for your prayers and support throughout this process and as we decide what our next step is.
Love,
Stacy & Scott
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
Less than a week
Little Caleb's due date is in 5 days. 5 DAYS!!!
We are ready, bags packed, house clean, work things pretty much sorted out. We are ready in every sense of the word, except we're probably not really ready. Can you ever be 100% ready? We have no idea how things are going to play out once we get the phone call. We don't know if he'll already be born or if his birthmother will just be going into labor. We aren't sure if we'll meet his birthmother and her family or just be working with the social worker. We don't know if we'll spend two nights in the hotel, or two weeks in the hotel. So MANY unknowns! If this process has taught us anything it is that we are not in control and that we just have to roll with the punches. It was a hard lesson to learn, but we've become pretty good at it. Who am I kidding, Scott has always been good at it, I'm still working on it, but we balance each other out, right?
The dreams have started coming. Almost every night for the past week I have waken up from the strangest dreams. They include RoboCop, a little girl named Anna, and most recently getting a text message from Scott that Caleb had been born. That one felt the most real. I woke up not sure if it was a dream or not, my heart racing. I shot out of bed to find Scott sound asleep at 2:30 in the morning.
This week is going to go on forever I'm sure, but we'll just try to stay busy and keep our minds off the "unknown" and think about how we'll "roll with the punches"!
Hope to post again within the next week with news of our new little boy!
We are ready, bags packed, house clean, work things pretty much sorted out. We are ready in every sense of the word, except we're probably not really ready. Can you ever be 100% ready? We have no idea how things are going to play out once we get the phone call. We don't know if he'll already be born or if his birthmother will just be going into labor. We aren't sure if we'll meet his birthmother and her family or just be working with the social worker. We don't know if we'll spend two nights in the hotel, or two weeks in the hotel. So MANY unknowns! If this process has taught us anything it is that we are not in control and that we just have to roll with the punches. It was a hard lesson to learn, but we've become pretty good at it. Who am I kidding, Scott has always been good at it, I'm still working on it, but we balance each other out, right?
The dreams have started coming. Almost every night for the past week I have waken up from the strangest dreams. They include RoboCop, a little girl named Anna, and most recently getting a text message from Scott that Caleb had been born. That one felt the most real. I woke up not sure if it was a dream or not, my heart racing. I shot out of bed to find Scott sound asleep at 2:30 in the morning.
This week is going to go on forever I'm sure, but we'll just try to stay busy and keep our minds off the "unknown" and think about how we'll "roll with the punches"!
Hope to post again within the next week with news of our new little boy!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
10 day countdown
Today starts the 10 day countdown. Of course there is no guarantee that the little guy will make his arrival in 10 days. It could be 12, 14 or even 17 days before we get to meet our bundle of joy.
Last week was my first week back at school and EVERYONE was asking, "Have you heard anything?", "Is he here yet?", or "Any news?" I know they are all being kind and supportive, but if we had heard that Caleb was making his arrival, do they really think I'd be at school? School did throw me a shower last Thursday, which was wonderful. I even got a little emotional when I thanked everyone for their support and excitement for us. For the time being I am at school trying to tie up loose ends before I'm out for 10 weeks. Tomorrow I tell the kids the kids the situation. I think I am more nervous about this than anything else right now. I know there will be lots of questions and I'm not sure how I'm going to answer them. I'm sure I'm worrying way too much, but if I wasn't worried about this, it would be something else.
Scott is also at work tying up loose ends. He has been so great at being the contact person for our out-of-state social worker. Every once in a while a wave of reality hits him...I love seeing that little smile he has. I know what he's feeling and thinking and I love him for it!
Saturday, my mom's friend threw a baby shower for me. It just about cleared out our registry, so we officially have most everything we need. The shower attendees were mostly family friends who've known me over half my life. There was even Ms. Pat who's known me since I was one. All these women were like 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc. moms to me, so it was wonderful to be surrounded by their support.
Our "to-do" list is getting shorter and shorter. I supposed that is a good thing. It is probably even better that I am not adding more than I am crossing off. Each thing that I cross off brings me that much closer to reality. Of course I don't think that reality will really set in until we are en route. Right now, it still feels like it is months away. Not to say we are completely excited and ready to hold our son.
So looking back, this is quite the rambling, isn't it? Well I'd say that is a pretty good representation of where we are right not. Just going along hitting bumps here and there waiting for our little one to make his entrance! Check back often for news that he has arrived!
Last week was my first week back at school and EVERYONE was asking, "Have you heard anything?", "Is he here yet?", or "Any news?" I know they are all being kind and supportive, but if we had heard that Caleb was making his arrival, do they really think I'd be at school? School did throw me a shower last Thursday, which was wonderful. I even got a little emotional when I thanked everyone for their support and excitement for us. For the time being I am at school trying to tie up loose ends before I'm out for 10 weeks. Tomorrow I tell the kids the kids the situation. I think I am more nervous about this than anything else right now. I know there will be lots of questions and I'm not sure how I'm going to answer them. I'm sure I'm worrying way too much, but if I wasn't worried about this, it would be something else.
Scott is also at work tying up loose ends. He has been so great at being the contact person for our out-of-state social worker. Every once in a while a wave of reality hits him...I love seeing that little smile he has. I know what he's feeling and thinking and I love him for it!
Saturday, my mom's friend threw a baby shower for me. It just about cleared out our registry, so we officially have most everything we need. The shower attendees were mostly family friends who've known me over half my life. There was even Ms. Pat who's known me since I was one. All these women were like 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc. moms to me, so it was wonderful to be surrounded by their support.
Our "to-do" list is getting shorter and shorter. I supposed that is a good thing. It is probably even better that I am not adding more than I am crossing off. Each thing that I cross off brings me that much closer to reality. Of course I don't think that reality will really set in until we are en route. Right now, it still feels like it is months away. Not to say we are completely excited and ready to hold our son.
So looking back, this is quite the rambling, isn't it? Well I'd say that is a pretty good representation of where we are right not. Just going along hitting bumps here and there waiting for our little one to make his entrance! Check back often for news that he has arrived!
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Happy New Year
A day or two early, I know! What a year this has been. It is hard to believe that we'll be saying farewell to 2009 tomorrow night. Just for fun, I thought I might do a little year in review!
January - Rang in 2009 with family at the beach.
February - Scott was in a car accident and was thankfully fine.
March - We got a late winter/early spring snow storm that brought about 8 inches of snow.
April - The beginning of the wedding season. Scott's cousin Brad's wedding in Indianapolis kicked it off. We also celebrated Easter with our parents at the beach.
May - The wedding season continued with two more weddings (family and friends). We also got to host Scott's family for a couple of days which was fun!
June - My grandmother passed away.
July - Celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary.
August - Had a baby shower hosted by Scott's sisters and went on vacation to Asheville, NC.
September - Received the wonderful news that we had been matched with a birthmom.
October - Spent a relaxing weekend at the beach and got some things ready for baby!
November - Was extremely thankful for the many blessings in our lives especially celebrating Thanksgiving with family. Oh and got more things ready for the baby!
December - Spread Christmas out over 4 days (2 days with the Slonakers and 2 with the Gerkes). It was so much more relaxing and enjoyable. Oh and we let the family in on the baby's name, which was great!
What? You want to know the name too?? Well we think you have waited long enough. Our little boy will be named Caleb William Gerke and he will be here in just about 3 weeks!!
January - Rang in 2009 with family at the beach.
February - Scott was in a car accident and was thankfully fine.
March - We got a late winter/early spring snow storm that brought about 8 inches of snow.
April - The beginning of the wedding season. Scott's cousin Brad's wedding in Indianapolis kicked it off. We also celebrated Easter with our parents at the beach.
May - The wedding season continued with two more weddings (family and friends). We also got to host Scott's family for a couple of days which was fun!
June - My grandmother passed away.
July - Celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary.
August - Had a baby shower hosted by Scott's sisters and went on vacation to Asheville, NC.
September - Received the wonderful news that we had been matched with a birthmom.
October - Spent a relaxing weekend at the beach and got some things ready for baby!
November - Was extremely thankful for the many blessings in our lives especially celebrating Thanksgiving with family. Oh and got more things ready for the baby!
December - Spread Christmas out over 4 days (2 days with the Slonakers and 2 with the Gerkes). It was so much more relaxing and enjoyable. Oh and we let the family in on the baby's name, which was great!
What? You want to know the name too?? Well we think you have waited long enough. Our little boy will be named Caleb William Gerke and he will be here in just about 3 weeks!!
Saturday, December 19, 2009
News
You know the old saying, "no news is good news" right? Well in our adoption journey "no news" has contributed to anxiety, stress, worry, fear, and even a few tears. With several weeks possibly even months of "no news" our mind has drifted from excitement, to curiosity, to anxiety and fear. We automatically assumed the worst. Our social worker assured us that this "no news" was not uncommon and that we should think positive and that all signs pointed us in the direction of a successful adoption.
So today, we got the best possible Christmas gift. We had contact with our birthmom's family. She is doing well (uncomfortable, but well) and is still confident with her adoption plan. They say the baby is going to be a big boy because his birthmom is huge! In just two weeks she'll be full term and her due date is five weeks from today.
For the first time, in quite a while, we can breathe a sigh of relief. We feel as if a 100 pound weight has been lifted. Now this "news" also contributed to some feelings of anxiety, stress, and still a few tears, but all in a good way!
I'm on my winter break now, so I'll get back to finishing up some things in the nursery and our goal is to have our little boy's bag packed by the time I head back to school. We'll also start doing some things like installing car seats and finalizing hotel plans (see all good things to be stressed about)!
Thank you for all of your prayers...many of them were answered today when we got that call!!
So today, we got the best possible Christmas gift. We had contact with our birthmom's family. She is doing well (uncomfortable, but well) and is still confident with her adoption plan. They say the baby is going to be a big boy because his birthmom is huge! In just two weeks she'll be full term and her due date is five weeks from today.
For the first time, in quite a while, we can breathe a sigh of relief. We feel as if a 100 pound weight has been lifted. Now this "news" also contributed to some feelings of anxiety, stress, and still a few tears, but all in a good way!
I'm on my winter break now, so I'll get back to finishing up some things in the nursery and our goal is to have our little boy's bag packed by the time I head back to school. We'll also start doing some things like installing car seats and finalizing hotel plans (see all good things to be stressed about)!
Thank you for all of your prayers...many of them were answered today when we got that call!!
Monday, November 23, 2009
9 weeks and counting
Today marks the two month date! We have nine weeks until our baby's due date! Just two months ago we found out we were having a boy! And about three months ago we started the amazing process of adopting this little guy! My how things have changed over the past couple of months.
We met with our social worker last week and really didn't get too much new news. We will probably talk with her a couple more times before his arrival just to ask and answer any questions that pop up. But, for the most part, sometime in January we will get "the call" that our birth mother has gone into labor. Once we get the word, we'll hit the road! We also got some good news that we might not have to stay out of state as long as we had once thought. We still might be there around a week, but that is MUCH better than two weeks!
Ohhh....we are 99% set on the name for our little guy. We aren't revealing it yet...soon, I promise.
We met with our social worker last week and really didn't get too much new news. We will probably talk with her a couple more times before his arrival just to ask and answer any questions that pop up. But, for the most part, sometime in January we will get "the call" that our birth mother has gone into labor. Once we get the word, we'll hit the road! We also got some good news that we might not have to stay out of state as long as we had once thought. We still might be there around a week, but that is MUCH better than two weeks!
Ohhh....we are 99% set on the name for our little guy. We aren't revealing it yet...soon, I promise.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Still getting ready!
So we are a little more than two months from the arrival of our little man. We haven't heard any more updates, but we meet with our social worker next week. She might have some information for us then.
Baby Gerke's room is just about done. We purchased a gilder/rocker this past weekend and just finished putting together. It's so comfy and matches the room perfectly! We know it will be used a LOT for those middle of the night feedings :-)
We've narrowed the names down to three! It is killing my mom that we won't just pick one and tell her! We can't decide on one and we might not until we see the little guy. So for now and the time being he is just Baby Gerke! I'd say we might have a name picked out by our next post, but that's not very likely :-) We know the middle name will be William, so maybe that can hold you over until we pick/announce the name!
Baby Gerke's room is just about done. We purchased a gilder/rocker this past weekend and just finished putting together. It's so comfy and matches the room perfectly! We know it will be used a LOT for those middle of the night feedings :-)
We've narrowed the names down to three! It is killing my mom that we won't just pick one and tell her! We can't decide on one and we might not until we see the little guy. So for now and the time being he is just Baby Gerke! I'd say we might have a name picked out by our next post, but that's not very likely :-) We know the middle name will be William, so maybe that can hold you over until we pick/announce the name!
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