Dear Family & Friends,
It is with extremely saddened hearts that we share that it appears our adoption has fallen through. We have known all along that this was always a possibility, but that in no way helped us to prepare for the moment that we were told Caleb would not be coming home with us. We continue to pray for the birthmother and her family as this is a difficult time for them as well. We will need time to heal and grieve, but we know that we will get through this. The adoption process has given us some thick skin, but we are still heartbroken. We thank you all for your prayers and support throughout this process and as we decide what our next step is.
Love,
Stacy & Scott
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
Less than a week
Little Caleb's due date is in 5 days. 5 DAYS!!!
We are ready, bags packed, house clean, work things pretty much sorted out. We are ready in every sense of the word, except we're probably not really ready. Can you ever be 100% ready? We have no idea how things are going to play out once we get the phone call. We don't know if he'll already be born or if his birthmother will just be going into labor. We aren't sure if we'll meet his birthmother and her family or just be working with the social worker. We don't know if we'll spend two nights in the hotel, or two weeks in the hotel. So MANY unknowns! If this process has taught us anything it is that we are not in control and that we just have to roll with the punches. It was a hard lesson to learn, but we've become pretty good at it. Who am I kidding, Scott has always been good at it, I'm still working on it, but we balance each other out, right?
The dreams have started coming. Almost every night for the past week I have waken up from the strangest dreams. They include RoboCop, a little girl named Anna, and most recently getting a text message from Scott that Caleb had been born. That one felt the most real. I woke up not sure if it was a dream or not, my heart racing. I shot out of bed to find Scott sound asleep at 2:30 in the morning.
This week is going to go on forever I'm sure, but we'll just try to stay busy and keep our minds off the "unknown" and think about how we'll "roll with the punches"!
Hope to post again within the next week with news of our new little boy!
We are ready, bags packed, house clean, work things pretty much sorted out. We are ready in every sense of the word, except we're probably not really ready. Can you ever be 100% ready? We have no idea how things are going to play out once we get the phone call. We don't know if he'll already be born or if his birthmother will just be going into labor. We aren't sure if we'll meet his birthmother and her family or just be working with the social worker. We don't know if we'll spend two nights in the hotel, or two weeks in the hotel. So MANY unknowns! If this process has taught us anything it is that we are not in control and that we just have to roll with the punches. It was a hard lesson to learn, but we've become pretty good at it. Who am I kidding, Scott has always been good at it, I'm still working on it, but we balance each other out, right?
The dreams have started coming. Almost every night for the past week I have waken up from the strangest dreams. They include RoboCop, a little girl named Anna, and most recently getting a text message from Scott that Caleb had been born. That one felt the most real. I woke up not sure if it was a dream or not, my heart racing. I shot out of bed to find Scott sound asleep at 2:30 in the morning.
This week is going to go on forever I'm sure, but we'll just try to stay busy and keep our minds off the "unknown" and think about how we'll "roll with the punches"!
Hope to post again within the next week with news of our new little boy!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
10 day countdown
Today starts the 10 day countdown. Of course there is no guarantee that the little guy will make his arrival in 10 days. It could be 12, 14 or even 17 days before we get to meet our bundle of joy.
Last week was my first week back at school and EVERYONE was asking, "Have you heard anything?", "Is he here yet?", or "Any news?" I know they are all being kind and supportive, but if we had heard that Caleb was making his arrival, do they really think I'd be at school? School did throw me a shower last Thursday, which was wonderful. I even got a little emotional when I thanked everyone for their support and excitement for us. For the time being I am at school trying to tie up loose ends before I'm out for 10 weeks. Tomorrow I tell the kids the kids the situation. I think I am more nervous about this than anything else right now. I know there will be lots of questions and I'm not sure how I'm going to answer them. I'm sure I'm worrying way too much, but if I wasn't worried about this, it would be something else.
Scott is also at work tying up loose ends. He has been so great at being the contact person for our out-of-state social worker. Every once in a while a wave of reality hits him...I love seeing that little smile he has. I know what he's feeling and thinking and I love him for it!
Saturday, my mom's friend threw a baby shower for me. It just about cleared out our registry, so we officially have most everything we need. The shower attendees were mostly family friends who've known me over half my life. There was even Ms. Pat who's known me since I was one. All these women were like 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc. moms to me, so it was wonderful to be surrounded by their support.
Our "to-do" list is getting shorter and shorter. I supposed that is a good thing. It is probably even better that I am not adding more than I am crossing off. Each thing that I cross off brings me that much closer to reality. Of course I don't think that reality will really set in until we are en route. Right now, it still feels like it is months away. Not to say we are completely excited and ready to hold our son.
So looking back, this is quite the rambling, isn't it? Well I'd say that is a pretty good representation of where we are right not. Just going along hitting bumps here and there waiting for our little one to make his entrance! Check back often for news that he has arrived!
Last week was my first week back at school and EVERYONE was asking, "Have you heard anything?", "Is he here yet?", or "Any news?" I know they are all being kind and supportive, but if we had heard that Caleb was making his arrival, do they really think I'd be at school? School did throw me a shower last Thursday, which was wonderful. I even got a little emotional when I thanked everyone for their support and excitement for us. For the time being I am at school trying to tie up loose ends before I'm out for 10 weeks. Tomorrow I tell the kids the kids the situation. I think I am more nervous about this than anything else right now. I know there will be lots of questions and I'm not sure how I'm going to answer them. I'm sure I'm worrying way too much, but if I wasn't worried about this, it would be something else.
Scott is also at work tying up loose ends. He has been so great at being the contact person for our out-of-state social worker. Every once in a while a wave of reality hits him...I love seeing that little smile he has. I know what he's feeling and thinking and I love him for it!
Saturday, my mom's friend threw a baby shower for me. It just about cleared out our registry, so we officially have most everything we need. The shower attendees were mostly family friends who've known me over half my life. There was even Ms. Pat who's known me since I was one. All these women were like 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc. moms to me, so it was wonderful to be surrounded by their support.
Our "to-do" list is getting shorter and shorter. I supposed that is a good thing. It is probably even better that I am not adding more than I am crossing off. Each thing that I cross off brings me that much closer to reality. Of course I don't think that reality will really set in until we are en route. Right now, it still feels like it is months away. Not to say we are completely excited and ready to hold our son.
So looking back, this is quite the rambling, isn't it? Well I'd say that is a pretty good representation of where we are right not. Just going along hitting bumps here and there waiting for our little one to make his entrance! Check back often for news that he has arrived!
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