Evan's room

We finally finished it.  Well it has been close to being done for some time now, we just had to wait for Christmas to pass, so we could take a couple more things downstairs.  So now that the Christmas tree is gone, his room is offically done.  Minus my hospital bag and the car seat, which I'm sure will make their way downstairs in the coming days.  Anyway, just thought I'd share some pictures!

36 weeks

I hit 36 weeks on Christmas Eve!  We had a wonderful Christmas Eve with my parents.  We played a pretty intense game of Risk, ate a great dinner, went to church ,and opened presents.  Evan gave quite a bit this Christmas.  He is a funny gift-giver though.  He got me a onesie, he got his daddy a onesie, and he got his grandpa a onesie!  So really they were gifts for him :-)  He got some other things too, that were actually meant to be for him the whole time! 

Christmas Day we went to see Scott's family.  Unfortunately we couldn't stay too long because a winter storm was on the way.  Sure enough we drive home in snow the whole way.  It didn't start sticking to the roads until we got off the interstate though.  We ended up with around 3-4 inches, but Scott's folks got 10 inches!!

Then today, we had our 36 week appointment.  My regular doctor took the week off, so I had to see someone else in the practice, but she said everything looks great.  We had an ultrasound and the little guy is doing great.  They didn't get and estimate on his weight this time, but maybe next week.  The doctor said I was close to being 1 cm dilated, and that things were starting to move along.  I'll be anxious to see what kind of progress is made over a week's time!  So next appointment is Jan. 3!  Time is ticking, he'll be here before we know it!  We can't wait!!!!

5 weeks to go...maybe

I hit 35 weeks today.  That means in 35 days or less, Evan will make his arrival.  Did you hear me?  In 5 weeks or less, we're going to have a baby!!  90% of the time, that thought excites me, the other 10% of the time....it scares the crap out of me.  Don't get me wrong, we're ready and want to meet our son, but there's just a little anxiety mixed in there.  I think it is the not being in control thing that is causing the anxiety.  If I knew when I was going to go into labor, I think I'd be just fine, but not knowing when or what labor feels like (yes, I know when it comes, I'll know) makes me a little nervous. 

So just to add more to the mix, Christmas is in a week!  I've had a hard time getting into the Christmas spirit this year.  Honestly, I think its because I'm looking forward what lies after Christmas a little bit more this year.  Plus I'm just plain exhausted.  Lucky for me, I get two whole weeks (plus 2 days, thanks to a little snow) off to get in the spirit and finish getting things ready for Evan.  Scott took next week too, so it will be nice to spend some QT together! 

As far as how Evan's doing...he is fantastic.  He gets weighed at our next appointment at 37 weeks, but he is head down and getting into position.  He is probably pushing 6 pounds by now and at our latest ultrasound we found out that he has some hair on his head!!  Amazing the things an ultrasound can tell you!  I guess at this point, check back often for the latest updates!  Our next appointment is Dec. 27th, so we'll update with the latest then!

Until then, have a Merry Christmas! 

Just the two of us

Back in October, I came back from my baby shower and Scott has surprised me with tickets to see The Chorus Line at the Landmark Theater.  It had always been a wish of mine to see it on stage.  My mom and I LOVED to watch the movie and I can sing all the words to the songs even though it has been years and years since I last saw it!  It was quite the surprise and Scott took such care in picking out the perfect seats (if you've been to the Landmark, you know that the seating is tight..especially for my super tall hubby).  Well yesterday was show day and seeing it on stage did not disappoint.  It was a fantastic performance...and I could still sing along to EVERY song :-) 

We saw the matinee show, so afterwards, we went out to eat at The Boathouse...Richmond's only river front dining experience.  It was great.  The place has floor to ceiling windows with gorgeous views of the river and city skyline.  It was even prettier this time of year with the skyline lit up for Christmas.  Dinner was great and somewhere between the Lobster Bisque and the Crab Stuffed Shrimp we realized, this is probably our last big night out...just the two of us.  It wasn't a sad discovery....more of an exciting discovery! 

After dinner, we stopped by Target (because what date night is complete without a trip to Target!) for chocolate....I've been seriously craving chocolate these days! Then off to see two of my favorite Tacky Light Houses.  We talked about how fun it will be to bring Evan in the years to come; so he can see the house that has lights that dance to music and the house where you can see Santa and Mrs. Claus and get a candy cane.  We just hope these people keep up the tradition...because they are awesome!

And of course to end the night we curled up on the couch and watched White Christmas as the snow started falling.  It was the perfect day for just the two of us!

Lil' Whopper

That's my new nickname for the chunk growing inside me!  We had my 32 week appointment today and had an ultrasound.  He is already weighing in at 5 pounds and is in the 67th percentile for his size!  I think about some babies I have known to be born at full term and only weighed 5 or 6 pounds.  This lil' whopper is already at 5 pounds!!  That's OK though, it just means he is healthy!  We saw him breathing on the ultrasound, along with his heartbeat.  He moved his arm for us and turned his head and looked at us!  It was pretty cool. 

Here's a picture of our Lil' Whopper!

Thanksgiving Eve

Where has November gone?  It is really hard to believe that Thanksgiving is already here.  At school this week, we had students write what they are thankful for.  It always amazes me at what a couple of them come up with.  There is always the kid who is thankful for video games, or his/her parents (because they buy them things).  But on the other hand there is always the kid who is thankful for something as simple as friends because "without them, it isn't as much fun".  I always love to read what they are thankful for, so I thought I'd make my own list (condensed of course) of what I am thankful for this Thanksgiving. 

• My wonderfully patient husband that puts up with me everyday.
• My parents, who were my first friends and are still some of my best friends.
• My in-laws (immediate and extended family) for always making me feel welcome into their family.
• My job, that always keeps me challenged and never deals me the same hand twice!
• My friends, who are always supportive and sometimes know me better than I know myself.
• My house, it's not a mansion, but it is home.
• My health.
• The amazing gift that Scott and I have been blessed with; the anticipation of waiting for our little man to make his arrival!

There are a million other blessings that I am thankful for this Thanksgiving, but these are the big ones!  We hope that you and your family have many blessings you are thankful for and that you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday!

Riddle me this...

What's just over three pounds , 17 inches long, and likes to do somersaults?  You guessed it, Evan!!!!!

I think because he is getting bigger and running out of space in there, he is doing more flips, turns, and somersaults.  I'm not feeling as many kicks, jabs, or elbows these days.  Instead I can see my whole belly move.  Our favorite thing to do these days is put a remote or cell phone on my belly and watch it move!  It is kind of strange, but makes me laugh every time! 

The List

I was feeling a bit overwhelmed yesterday.  I realized I only have 10 weeks (or less) until Evan arrives and that made me panic.  Some days if feels like I just took the pregnancy test last month, or we just found out we're having a boy, last week.  Some days, I think "There is no way I've be pregnant for 30 week!"  But sure enough I have been pregnant for 30 weeks.  I guess this whole things still seems surreal to me.  I feel Evan moving all the time, I've seen him on the ultrasound, but yet I still can't wrap my head around the fact that in 10 weeks (or less) I'm finally going to be a mother.  This has been something we've been waiting for for 6 years.  6 years of heartache, disappointment, tears, jealousy (yes, I'll admit it), anger, and just unhappiness.  And now everything we have wanted for 6 years is only 10 weeks away.  Amazing!

So in addition to feeling emotionally overwhelmed, I was feeling overwhelmed by the amount of things that need to be done.  I did what I always do, I talk it out and then yell at Scott for offering suggestion.  I don't want suggestions, I just want to talk it out...it's how I think.  So after apologizing for snapping at my wonderfully, patient husband, I made a list.  Once I got it all down on paper, it wasn't nearly as overwhelming, until I looked at some of the things on the list.  I realized this is a primary list.  Several things on this list, will have lists of their own shortly.  "Hospital Bag" is on the primary list, but it will have a secondary list, listing all the things that need to go in the hospital bag.  Again, it is how I work.  I work best with lists and it makes me feel good to cross things off. 

Everything is still doable and I always throw some no brainer, duh type items on there just to cross off to make myself feel better.  At least, I'm not as overwhelmed as I was yesterday...at least for today :-)

28 weeks...well almost 29

Time is flying....flying, flying, flying!!

• How far along? 28 weeks, 4 days!
• Baby’s Size: The produce comparison is an eggplant, but at our last ultrasound 2 weeks ago he was already over 2 pounds! 
• Movement: He is an active little boy!  I've started my kick counts this week and my doctor said to look for at least 4 movements in a half hour (not every half hour) twice a day.  Well he usually hits the 4 movements in about 4 minutes.  He likes to sleep when I am teaching, I hope that doesn't carry over to his school years! He is nice and active when I'm sitting down, eating, and sleeping!
• Sleep: Still waking up several times a night!  It is a good night when I get 3-4 hours of uninterrupted sleep.  I can still fall right back asleep though!!
• Food Cravings: OREOS and MILK...yummm!
• Food Aversions: It changes daily.  Either it sounds delicious, or it doesn't. 
• What I am Looking forward to: Finishing up the nursery (we'll post pics when it is all done) and Thanksgiving dinner...I've been craving all the Thanksgiving foods for months now!!

 

100 day countdown

I can't believe that I have been pregnant for 180 days.  It is absolutely unbelievable and amazing how quickly the time has gone by.  Today I'm 25 weeks 5 days.   That means I only have about 14 weeks until my due date.  Wait a minute...wasn't I just 20 weeks along?  Wasn't I just getting into the 2nd trimester and now I'm just about to my 3rd trimester?  I'm not sure where the time is going, but it is exciting to think that everyday brings us closer to meeting Evan. 
We had another ultrasound yesterday, and everything looks great.  Evan is developing just great and the doctor told us that he looks like a normal developing baby.  The most surprising news is that he weighs a whopping 2 pounds, 3 ounces already!  Amazing!!!  He is starting to develop a pattern with his activity.  His favorite play time is between 6-8pm.  He like to kick, turn, and give me jabs.  So much that he actually kicked my cell phone off my belly last week.  He's a strong little boy!
Scott and I are going on our "babymoon" this weekend.  We are headed to the beach house for the weekend...just the two of us, along with Buttons.  We are really looking forward to sleeping in, taking naps, going out to lunch at our favorite spot, being lazy, and mostly just being together and taking it easy!  I can't wait! 
Oh and here's a picture of our 180 day old baby!

A letter from Evan

Hey there people,
It has been a while since I wrote, Mom's been hogging the whole blog lately.  So you know that I'm a boy now!  I made sure I cooperated and at least showed my parts at the ultrasounds.  Mommy and Daddy are so excited.  I love to be called Evan instead of ECG...that was getting old!!!  I'm 23 weeks old and am getting huge these days!  I weigh over a pound and I'm all proportioned now.  I'm the size of a large mango this week.  Mommy wants to go to the grocery store to see what a mango actually looks like so she can see how big I am.  I also enjoy to flip and turn in Mommy's belly, but am still a little shy when Daddy comes over to feel.  I usually stop moving, but I love to hear his voice when he talks to me!  I also really like music.  When the radio is on or when we're singing in church, I like to start grooving!  Overall life is good, but I still have a lot of work to do before I make my appearance in January....growing is such tough work (on Mommy too)!
I'll write more later...maybe in a few weeks!
Love to all,
Evan

He's All Boy

Well,  I promised some pictures, but I have to be honest.  The only picture of the little guy that we have is of his boy parts.  We went for our ultrasound last week and within seconds, he flashed us.  OK, we thought, it's a boy!!!  Then the ultrasound tech started to try to get some measurements to make sure the little guy was growing and developing the was he was supposed to.  She kept trying to get good shots of everything that she needed to get shots of, but the pictures were not good.  Basically she couldn't get clear enough pictures to check on development.  So my doctor referred us up to a perinatal center.  Not because anything was wrong, but because we needed better equipment.  So fast forward to today.

Again, within seconds, there was no doubt that Evan is still Evan.  But that is all he willingly showed.  The technician and the doctor tried. They had me shake, pee, and lay on my side, but the little booger was nice and comfy and again we couldn't get and clear pictures to check on development!   The tech was able to get a lot of measurements, but the doctor wasn't really happy with them.  She said everything looks fine, she just can't say it looks great with 100% confidence because the pictures aren't so clear.  So we go back to the perinatal center in a month.  Hopefully Evan will be bigger and we'll get better pictures.

So there's my frustration for the day.  I know there isn't anything I can do about it and I have been reassured by EVERYONE that this does not mean something it wrong, it just means we need clearer pictures.  We did see just about everything we needed to see (minus his cute little face)...it just wasn't the best picture.  It was enough to see everything looks OK, which is enough to tide me over for a month!

So, just because it's the only pics we have.  Here is proof that we're having a boy!!!  A stubborn, shy little boy!!!

Snips and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails

That's what little boys are made of!!! 

We had our ultrasound today and we are proud to announce that ECG can now be refered to as.....

Evan Christopher Gerke!!!!

We got quite the money shot of the little guy....I'll have to post some pics later, I'm too tired from an evening full of baby shopping :-)

We are beyond thrilled and now just can't wait for January!!!!

19 weeks and moving

At right about the 19 week mark, Baby Gerke started moving!  Well let me rephrase that...at the 19 week mark, I started feeling Baby Gerke move.  Our little mango (yep...we've got a mango this week!) is a little gymnast...at least that's what it feels like!  I feel flips and flutters throughout the day and I LOVE it!! Baby ECG makes his/her presence known mostly when I'm lying down or sitting on couch and Scott is extremely jealous that he can't feel the movement yet.  Soon enough I tell him...soon enough :-)

Make sure to check back next week when we have our ultrasound to see if we have a little girl gymnast or a little boy gymnast!

Week 18

• How far along? 18 weeks!
• Baby’s Size: sweet potato 
• Gender: Still don't know, but we'll find out on September 7th if the baby cooperates!
• Movement: I feel things here and there, but nothing consistent.  I'm pretty sure that it is the baby moving around in there, but just feels like a tickle right now!
• Sleep: I am getting up just about every two hours to visit the bathroom.  I usually don't have any problems falling back to sleep, which is good! 
• Food Cravings: steak, mexican, anything with a lot of strong flavors
• Food Aversions: chicken....all chicken
• What I am Looking forward to: Finding out if we have a girl ECG or a boy ECG!  Just about two weeks to go!!!

16 week check up

Hard to believe I am almost to the halfway point of this pregnancy.  Time is just flying by.  Most of the time I don't feel pregnant, which makes it all that more surreal.  I haven't felt the baby yet, so I have to rely on my growing waistline to reassure myself that there is indeed life growing inside me.  I'm hoping that little ECG starts making his or her presence known soon, because all my clothes being snug is starting to get annoying!
We had our monthly check up this past week.  I had blood drawn, talked to the doctor, and heard that lovely heartbeat again.  I don't think I could every get tired of hearing the sound that is the mix of a washing machine and a galloping horse!  Scott could clearly hear it this time and I loved the beaming smile on his face when he knew what he was hearing....already such a proud daddy!
So today I get a phone call from the nurse at the doctor's office.  I love her!  She is by far the best nurse, I have ever had contact with.  She talked to me on the phone for at least 10 minutes explaining every lab that had been run and answering every single question I had.  Everything came back just perfect with all my blood tests, I just still have this pesky infection.  She said I'd probably have it throughout the rest of my pregnancy.  She said having it and not treating it is safer than treating it at this point, so I just have to deal!  Of course this isn't hard because I don't feel like I have an infection so dealing is something I can do.  This does mean that I'll need IV antibiotics during delivery though....that's 5 months away...I'll worry about that when the time comes, in about 160 days :-)

A Letter From The Baby

Dear family and friends,
     I thought you'd be interested in learning some more about me this week.  Can you believe that I'm already the size of a lemon?  Think of me when you pass the lemons at the grocery store this week :-)  I have also learned to do some pretty cool things this week.  I can pee now.  Lucky for Mommy and Daddy, they don't have to take care of it yet, I'm just practicing for all those diaper changes.  I can also make facial expressions.  I can grimace when Mommy feeds me spaghetti and grin when she feeds me Starbursts and nectarines.  Mommy thinks I'm a girl and Daddy just wants me to be healthy.  I'm going to reveal all the first week of September, if I feel like cooperating!  And last but not least, Mommy and Daddy have decided on my name whether I'm a girl or a boy.  I can give you a hint.....my initials will be ECG either way (any guesses?).  Ok, that's it for this week, my 14th week :-)

Lots of Love,
Baby ECG....the lemon

pic courtesy of www.babycenter.com

Farewell 1st Trimester

I'm now in my second trimester!  It is crazy to think that I'm 1/3 through the pregnancy.  These past couple of weeks (since I have been off school) have seemed to drag by, but I'm sure once I get back to school, January will be here before I know it.  So just as all the books have said, the symptoms have started to phase themselves out the past couple of weeks.  The only thing that is driving me crazy is these stupid antibiotics I'm on.  I have to take them  FOUR times a day!!!  So add in my prenatal vitamins and all I'm doing all day is taking gel cap pills.  To make matters worse, the antibiotics have to be taken on an empty stomach, 1 hour before I eat or 2 hours after I eat, and the vitamin has to be taken with food.  Everything has to be timed just right so I can make sure I'm eating, taking the antibiotic, and taking my vitamin.  I even have to take a pill in the middle of the night, which isn't a huge deal since I'm up every two-three hours to go to the bathroom anyway.  I'll manage though!  40 minutes until my next pill and 5 days until my last!!!

thump, thump, thump, thump

That's the sound of Baby Gerke's heartbeat and we got to hear it today!   The heartbeat was a little tough to find, but once the baby stopped moving all around the heartbeat was strong and very fast (according to the doctor).  Scott was so nervous.  I don't think he took a single breath while the doctor was searching for the heartbeat.  I kept hearing a couple of beats here and there, but Scott wasn't hearing that.  As soon as the doctor would start to hear the heartbeat, Baby Gerke would move away. But bottom line is that we heard the heart beat and the doctor said that puts us in the clear....we're in the safe zone!!!!

I do apparently have a small infection, but that is being treated with some antibiotics and should be gone in about a week.  News to me, but glad it is something easily taken care of.  Our next appointment is on August 10th.  The day after we get back from out next vacation.  Scott's boss has got to love him...he goes on vacation for a week, then has an appointment the first day back.  No really his boss is incredibly supportive, so it's not a big deal!  And if all goes as planned, looks like we'll be finding out boy or girl, the first week in September!  It seems like so far away, but I know it will be here before we know it!

If you're lucky enough to be at the beach...

then you're lucky enough! Or so the saying goes! We just got back from the Gerke family vacation to Duck, NC. It was a great time. Lots of time with family, hours spent in the sun, splashes in the pool and ocean, time playing games....what's not to feel lucky about!

Every alone moment Scott and I were able to steal, we reminded ourselves that our trip to the beach next summer will be very different. We'll have a baby in tow, which comes with so much more. More gear to pack, more time inside than out, but more importantly, more smiles, laughter, and love. We can't wait!!!!

The Gerke crew on the 4th of July

Big News!

Well many of you may know, but some of you may not. We have some exciting information to share!!! We are pregnant and expecting a little baby in January!!! God is absolutely amazing and we know He has answered ours and so many others' prayers over the past months. It has been fun to share the news with friends and family as we see or talk to them. The reactions have been the best! Most people scream only to be followed with tears (of joy, of course).

So far I'm feeling just fine. Typical pregnancy symptoms I suppose...a little nausea and fatigue, but other than that, not bad at all! We've been to the doctor a couple of times and seen our little nugget on an ultrasound a couple of times. So far the little guy or girl is growing and has a really strong heartbeat. We are planning to find out whether we have a little girl or a little boy, but won't know until late August, maybe September.

I know I haven't been the best at keeping this blog up in the past 5 months, but we were waiting for really good news to update the blog! So there's our really good news!!!! And just because we're already proud parents, here's one of Baby Gerke's first pictures. The little nugget was waving to us in this one!

Healing

We are healing. At times it feels as if it was months ago...not weeks. I think we have to look at it in perspective. We received the terrible news when that little boy was 1 day old. As heartbreaking as that was, imagine if we had found out the next day when we had taken him back to the hotel, or the day after that when my parents had come to meet him, or even worse 10 days later when we snuggling him in our own home. It hurt terribly, but it could have been so much worse.

We are starting to look forward, not back anymore. Nothing about what happened could be changed, so there was no point in looking back. Our dream to become parents hasn't changed and we know that our dream will come true at some point. We have always known that we are not in control and that God has a plan for us. We just have to wait for His plan to be known.

We do thank you all for your thoughts, prayers, cards, e-mails, phone calls, encouragement, support, etc. Without all of you we wouldn't be as strong as we are! You have helped us heal and for that we are forever grateful!
Love to all!

Sad News

Dear Family & Friends,
It is with extremely saddened hearts that we share that it appears our adoption has fallen through. We have known all along that this was always a possibility, but that in no way helped us to prepare for the moment that we were told Caleb would not be coming home with us. We continue to pray for the birthmother and her family as this is a difficult time for them as well. We will need time to heal and grieve, but we know that we will get through this. The adoption process has given us some thick skin, but we are still heartbroken. We thank you all for your prayers and support throughout this process and as we decide what our next step is.
Love,
Stacy & Scott

Less than a week

Little Caleb's due date is in 5 days. 5 DAYS!!!

We are ready, bags packed, house clean, work things pretty much sorted out. We are ready in every sense of the word, except we're probably not really ready. Can you ever be 100% ready? We have no idea how things are going to play out once we get the phone call. We don't know if he'll already be born or if his birthmother will just be going into labor. We aren't sure if we'll meet his birthmother and her family or just be working with the social worker. We don't know if we'll spend two nights in the hotel, or two weeks in the hotel. So MANY unknowns! If this process has taught us anything it is that we are not in control and that we just have to roll with the punches. It was a hard lesson to learn, but we've become pretty good at it. Who am I kidding, Scott has always been good at it, I'm still working on it, but we balance each other out, right?

The dreams have started coming. Almost every night for the past week I have waken up from the strangest dreams. They include RoboCop, a little girl named Anna, and most recently getting a text message from Scott that Caleb had been born. That one felt the most real. I woke up not sure if it was a dream or not, my heart racing. I shot out of bed to find Scott sound asleep at 2:30 in the morning.

This week is going to go on forever I'm sure, but we'll just try to stay busy and keep our minds off the "unknown" and think about how we'll "roll with the punches"!

Hope to post again within the next week with news of our new little boy!

10 day countdown

Today starts the 10 day countdown. Of course there is no guarantee that the little guy will make his arrival in 10 days. It could be 12, 14 or even 17 days before we get to meet our bundle of joy.

Last week was my first week back at school and EVERYONE was asking, "Have you heard anything?", "Is he here yet?", or "Any news?" I know they are all being kind and supportive, but if we had heard that Caleb was making his arrival, do they really think I'd be at school? School did throw me a shower last Thursday, which was wonderful. I even got a little emotional when I thanked everyone for their support and excitement for us. For the time being I am at school trying to tie up loose ends before I'm out for 10 weeks. Tomorrow I tell the kids the kids the situation. I think I am more nervous about this than anything else right now. I know there will be lots of questions and I'm not sure how I'm going to answer them. I'm sure I'm worrying way too much, but if I wasn't worried about this, it would be something else.

Scott is also at work tying up loose ends. He has been so great at being the contact person for our out-of-state social worker. Every once in a while a wave of reality hits him...I love seeing that little smile he has. I know what he's feeling and thinking and I love him for it!

Saturday, my mom's friend threw a baby shower for me. It just about cleared out our registry, so we officially have most everything we need. The shower attendees were mostly family friends who've known me over half my life. There was even Ms. Pat who's known me since I was one. All these women were like 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc. moms to me, so it was wonderful to be surrounded by their support.

Our "to-do" list is getting shorter and shorter. I supposed that is a good thing. It is probably even better that I am not adding more than I am crossing off. Each thing that I cross off brings me that much closer to reality. Of course I don't think that reality will really set in until we are en route. Right now, it still feels like it is months away. Not to say we are completely excited and ready to hold our son.
So looking back, this is quite the rambling, isn't it? Well I'd say that is a pretty good representation of where we are right not. Just going along hitting bumps here and there waiting for our little one to make his entrance! Check back often for news that he has arrived!